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.When we had some of those long, really grueling dayson the set, like sixteen-hour days, Nicole would bust out the caviarand champagne for the whole cast.And that was a big cast.She threwa big morale party after one especially long and painful week, too.So there I am, on my knees every friggin day, and the inevitablehappens.My back gave out on me.I was writing at the computer oneday, and suddenly I was paralyzed. Teeny, I can t move.I can t move.What the fuck happened? Is itsomething I ate?I went to see Annette, the physical therapist who was working Ni-cole s broken rib. Your back is totally compressed, she explained.Itwas from kneeling in that contraption all the time.My back couldn thandle being forced into that unnatural pose day after day after day.She showed me stretches I needed to do to keep my back flexible.She saved my life.That was the longest movie shoot of my career.And even whenit was a wrap our job wasn t over, because then we had to do a lot ofpress-junketing for it.Because everybody knew this movie was goingto be huge, win a lot of awards and shit.So Fox fired up an enormouspublicity juggernaut for it.We all went to Cannes, where it played onthe opening night of the festival, and they rolled out the red carpet forus.The biggest red carpet in the world.More like the Red Sea.Doing the Cannes-Cannes for Moulin Rouge! Oh my God, what amedia zoo that was.Not even a zoo, it was more like a media jungle,with thousands of autograph hounds and paparazzi all around us,acting like wild animals in a feeding frenzy.Elbowing each other inthe throat, knocking each other s cameras to the ground, screaming 224 JOHN LEGUIZAMO*Doing the Cannes-Cannes for Moulin Rouge!at us, slavering, gnashing their teeth.Sometimes when you re watch-ing celebrities on the red carpet outside one of these events you ll seethem get this funny look on their faces, like they re scared shitless?They are.It s fucking spooky having all those people screaming andpointing things at you.And then, just to add to my pain and humiliation, it seemed likepractically everyone else involved in that movie, from Nicole down tothe grips and caterers, was nominated for an Oscar.Except me.I wentto the awards ceremony, because that s what you do when you re partof a movie that s got that many nominations.But going to the Oscarswithout a nomination is like going to the prom without a date.Harvey Weinstein avoided me the whole night.Because I d said acrazy thing at his friend Hillary Clinton s birthday party at Radio CityMusic Hall, which was also a Democratic National Committee fund- Pimps, Hos, Playa Hatas, and All the Rest of My Hollywood Friends 225*raiser for the Gore-Lieberman campaign.Harvey, Rolling Stone s JannWenner, and some other big Dems in the entertainment industry hadorganized it.Michael Douglas; Bette Midler; Harrison Ford; Crosby,Stills & Nash, and other celebs came onboard, and Harvey asked meto speak, so I did.I just said the wrong thing. It s an old New York legend that Jews know how to satisfy theirwomen, I told the crowd. That s why it s gonna take a Jew [Lieber-man] to lick Bush.Hillary was aghast.The whole crowd was suddenly carved out ofstone.Republicans cited me as an example of what a terrible influ-ence the entertainment industry is on the children of America.Harvey got over it eventually.They invited me to a 2004 fund-raiser for the Kerry-Edwards campaign.I had a bunch of new dirtyBush jokes I was going to tell, but this time Whoopi beat me to it.Ijust said that I didn t believe a lot of Latin people were for the Repub-licans.Latins for Republicans is like roaches for Raid.The whole Moulin Rouge! experience was so painful for me in somany ways that I can t watch the movie.I just can t watch it.It hurts.Teeny can t watch it either, because she was there with me, sufferingthrough the whole thing.I love Baz, I still do.I m sure some of it wasbeyond his control.I m sure he didn t screw me on purpose.I m sureit wasn t that I sucked so bad that they had to cut me out of the movie.I know that because there wasn t enough there to cut out.The NewYork Times wrote,  John Leguizamo was completely wasted.I was, like,  No shit.For the first time ever, people on the street were telling me,  Youlook taller than in the film. I was afraid I was going to get typecastas the little-people actor.Play Hobbits, jockeys, elves the rest of mycareer.The life story of Hervé Villechaize.But it made me grab my balls and say I m a man. I m not gonna let this shit ruin me, I told Bubba. Your grand- 226 JOHN LEGUIZAMO*dad s been crushed many times in his life, and he came back.Youwatch.I m gonna rise above it too.And my baby son smiled.It was a crooked smile.Almost a sarcas-tic smile.And then he crapped his diapers. h man, me and my son.A typical Leguizamofather-son relationship.A beautiful standoff.With two little kids in the house I startedto feel really ignored by Teeny.Just watchingOher breast-feed Bubba made me jealous.My son was get-ting tit all the time, and I wasn t getting any.It wasn t fair.Teeny was always too tired for sex.She always had anexcuse now, and his name was Bubba. You re hiding behind our son, I pouted one nightwhen I wasn t getting any as usual. What is that supposed to mean? Teeny asked.I got up and started to get dressed. Forget it.Don t sweat it.I m just gonna go outand hang with my friends.I ll holler at you.Teeny sat up. John, grow up.You re always running awayfrom him.Now who does that remind you of?Hmmm?chapter18 228 JOHN LEGUIZAMO* Leave my father out of this, I grumbled.Teeny jumped up. You know what? You stay here, I m going out [ Pobierz caÅ‚ość w formacie PDF ]

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